I'm still alive || Life Update

I'm still alive || Life Update

7/20/20

Long time no see... I am not sure I still know how to do this, yet here we are. Hello, I'm Ana Teresa Pessoa a 22-year-old from Portugal who has been blogging for as long as she can remember yet who fails miserably at being consistent. Here I am I today (at 3AM, back into the blogging routine as if it was nothing)., to give you a little life update and spill the tea on everything that life has taught me since coming back from Paris 5 months ago. 

First and for most I GRADUATED UNI!!! (in the middle of a global pandemic) and now I feel lost AF. Well, there is not a lot I can say about this one except I feel really relieved, happy, and proud that this chapter is over. It was 4 long years of hard work and a huge set back towards the end named Covid-19. I finished my Culture and Communication degree from the School of Arts and Humanities of the University of Lisbon. I am now facing a world of doubts and uncertainty about the world we currently live in. I always planned on working on event management after graduation, I never expected to have all kinds of events (including my graduation) canceled for god knows how long. This as taught me many lessons, the major one probably being that life will always go it's own way, no matter how much you think you have, the best skill you can have is your ability to adapt to everything life throws at you. 

Meanwhile due to our global friend Corona I moved back home. Well, temporarily at least. Mid-March Portugal announced we were on lockdown and scared I would be locked in Lisbon for god knows how long, my dad picked me up from Lisbon in a quest that could be part of any apocalyptical film and brought me home, to the sunny Algarve. Don't get me wrong, I love living in Lisbon, but I feel so lucky to be here during the quarantine. I was born in a sunny place that has become a paradise on Earth for me. If you have been keeping up with me on Instagram you will know that I have been spending most of my time at the beach, enjoying nature a little bit more than before, and feeling very grateful for the place I was lucky to be born in. moral of that story you can fly as far away as you possibly can but there is no place like home.

Another thing that has changed is that I revived my Portuguese Youtube Channel, after being asked by many (mainly my mum) to produce content in my mother tongue. Actually, that's what kept me from blogging, I needed (and still need) to learn a new format and to understand how to edit video, and that left me little to no time to focus on the blogging aspect of my digital presence. I created two videos and if you can understand Portuguese I ask you to subscribe and share my channel.  Surprisingly that has taught me that it's never too late to embrace our passion projects.

And lastly, I wanted to talk about doing what feels right. I embraced a new vision on my social media. I know I am not good with schedules or promises, I am not good at being consistent, and for a long time that combined with what other people said left me feeling like shit more often than not and incredibly unmotivated to pursue my own path. Surprise, everyone is different, there is no right or wrong way of living life. I am, now more than ever, focusing on me, my self-growth, and my self-healing. Focusing on living my life to the fullest without letting others affect how I feel, how I live, or how I see the world. I am doing me and I couldn't care less about what anyone else thinks. After all, I think this was the most important swift in my mind as of lately. 

So guys, be welcomed to a new era of this blog, the blogger behind it is proud of herself for being who she is, she is making mistakes and learning every single day, she is pushing through and working hard on understanding life as it is with all this uncertainty and constant need for adaptation. Seeking happiness is now my goal, instead of achieving x amount of followers. I feel like a new Ana compared to the person I was this time last year and IT FEELS GOOD.

Photography: Sofia Filipe

Location: Loulé, Algarve, Portugal

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My Bad Experience With a Dermatologist

My Bad Experience With a Dermatologist

9/2/19

 

I was 16 years old, I watched YouTube as if it was the only source of entertainment available and it was a time when all the YouTubers I watched went to a dermatologist and having acne was quite an awful thing. Keep in mind that I was SIXTEEN! An age when it is normal to have acne, an age where my acne was a couple of pimples, some oily skin and nothing more. However I didn't want to be left out of the trend, and everyone seemed to go to a dermatologist so I went to one. I went in hopes to learn which was my skin type, to learn what steps should I include in my routine, what products I should buy. I wanted to improve my knowledge on my skin, to pick things that were appropriate for my age and skin type and to feel like I knew more than most people in order to legitimate the advice I gave on my blog. And so I went.

I must state now that I honestly think that I had really back luck with my dermatologist, it was a lady at the local hospital and I think it was the only available doctor that had an agreement with my insurance company.

Firstly I remember that to the only time I went (or maybe I had two appointments with her, I'm not sure), she got in at least 45 minutes late, which for a 16 year-old  going alone to the doctor for the first time is nerve-racking enough without having to wait for a long time.
Anyways, when I finally got in she asked me why was I there and after a short chat (that I don't recall) she gave me the magical recipe for my acne. Firstly she recommended me a cleansing gel and a moisturizer, that to this day I feel like were nothing special and did nothing for my skin.
A tinted moisturizer that had no coverage and that didn't help cover up the blemishes, something the doctor told me I had to do whenever they showed up. The tinted moisturizer was too liquid to offer any coverage, and too dark for my skin so I went to school looking like and Ompaa Lompa.
Besides all this, and the part that, looking back on this experience scares me the most, is that she prescribed me 3 boxes of pills to dry off my skin. To be fair I didn't ask what they were or what they did and I took them every day as I was told.
They made my skin look flakey and too dry, in addition to that, the mattifying products didn't help at all. I looked like a dried Opmaa Lompa, I took a whole box of pills (for around 2 months) and I felt absolutely awful.

My dreams of having dreamy skin like the girls I saw on Youtube were turned into nightmares, my self-confidence was more shaken up than ever and all I wanted was a place to hide. Thank god I decided to stop taking the pills, kept using the products but started to research a lot more when it came to products, skin type, formulas and ingredients.

Today, at 21, I am as far as you can be from being an expert. However, I know that having oil is not a bad thing, I don't like a look too matte (maybe due to the trauma), I know how important it is to keep a routine, to use sunscreen (something that wasn't even mentioned by the doctor), and much more.

I'm not saying that Doctor Google is the best option, I'm just sharing my experience, with a specific situation. I never went to a dermatologist again, because I never really had problems that forced me to go there. Lately, an allergy showed up on my skin and I've been considering seeing one in order to find a solution to this issue.

So what I learned for this experience and the message I hope to spread with this post is that you should be informed and ask questions. Don't do anything without realizing what you are doing, don't do it because you wanna be someone else. Do things for yourself and your own well being, the most important thing, at the end of the day, is that you are making informed choices and taking advantage of your biggest power, knowledge.

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